Judgmental?

Which way do the fingers point?

I was called judgmental on Facebook when I made a joke about how easy it is to accidentally have sex – you know, it happens all the time, you trip, lose all your clothes and land on a penis. Damn.

That was the moment I decided Facebook and I were through.

I didn’t go to class today, even though normally I enjoy Health Psychology and really enjoy G’s lecturing style. Here’s the email I sent him.

Hi G,

I am finding it very hard to read and journal on the sexual health topic, and it is no coincidence that I am not in class today. I have deeply-held, complex spiritual beliefs on this subject and, to be honest, I am afraid that if I air these I will be judged. I have seen and heard it happen almost universally to people with the same beliefs as I have and I wasn’t prepared to face that.
Even writing this I am crying.
At the same time, I would feel dishonest NOT expressing my views at all in class. But I assume that my classmates would assume that because I am a Christian and believe that sex should be reserved for marriage I am a homophobic prude. This is a very very long way from the truth. I was afraid that trying to do myself and my beliefs justice would take too long and be disruptive to the planned lesson.
I will do my best to do justice to the reading in my journal.
He replied,
No worries – I understand that this is a sensitive topic and I respect your beliefs. Please express them freely in your journal. You’re welcome to borrow the Sex and the City episodes if you want.

I think that anti-Christian, and especially anti-anti-gay-marriage, prejudice is about the only socially acceptable form of prejudice left.

I actually don’t have a position on gay marriage. And G, my supervisor, is gay. Whatever, it’s not really all that important to me. I also know a gay theologian who reportedly is against gay marriage because he doesn’t like the doctrinal implications. Just so ya know.

I’m also strongly anti-abortion, but I’ve shared a room quite happily with someone who had had one.

There is a big difference between being a judge and being a juror. The jury  says, “What you did was wrong.” The judge says, “Go to prison for ten years.” We all act as jurors, any time we say (to ourselves) “I wouldn’t do what he did.” It’s when we start treating people differently because of it that we move into judging. So if you treat me differently from anyone else, or from how you used to, because you think my beliefs are wrong, you are judging me.

Just don’t call people judgmental because they think something is wrong that you think is okay. They might be right.

You know the really sad thing about all of this, of course: it’s all in my head. Going to class today might have been absolutely fine. Really, I chickened out because the imaginary conversations in my own head were so difficult. But after hearing Kim Hill (National Radio, one Saturday morning) have a wonderful discussion with a wise Christian man and then five minutes before his time was up start asking him about gay marriage and the problem of pain (the two curliest issues that people love to try to stump Christians with) … and after witnessing numerous uncomfortable Facebook conversations … my fears were not totally unfounded.

Time to move on. I’ve handed in my Article Critique. It doesn’t feel properly handed in because I only had to email it, not print it and staple it and put it in a box. Anyway… Drugs test here I come!

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